Opening Your Heart to Love Again
If there’s one thing I know to be true, it’s this: love is God’s reason for everything. Everything He commands hangs on love. Everything He has done has been out of love. Everything He will ever do flows out of love. His plans and His purposes are rooted and grounded in love (1 John 4:7–8).
So what happens when our hearts are closed off?
That’s the tension many of us live in without even realizing it. Some can point to exact reasons like a betrayal, disappointment, or heartbreak and justify why their hearts are locked up. Others don’t even know their hearts are closed, yet their actions reveal it: guarded conversations, fear of closeness, or difficulty giving or receiving kindness.
But here’s the truth: a closed heart cannot give love, nor can it fully receive love. And when our hearts are closed to love, we’re ultimately closing ourselves off to God’s very reason for everything.
Recognizing When Your Heart Is Closed
We often think we’re protecting ourselves when we harden or close our hearts. But protection without healing leads to isolation, not freedom. Proverbs 4:23 reminds us to “guard your heart,” but notice it doesn’t say close your heart. Guarding is about discernment; closing is about fear.
Ask yourself:
Am I pushing away love because I’m afraid of being hurt again?
Do I measure love by how it makes me feel rather than by what it costs someone to choose me?
Have I confused control or infatuation with real love?
God’s Definition of Real Love
When we look at love through God’s eyes, it’s different from what culture tells us. Love isn’t just an emotion. It’s a decision.
Love is sacrificial. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son” (John 3:16).
Love is steadfast. “Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:8).
Love is in spite of. God proves His love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8).
That’s why agape — God’s unconditional love — is the measure of real love. When someone loves you in spite of what you’ve done, in spite of how you’ve treated them, in spite of your flaws, that’s when you’re touching God’s definition of love.
Opening Your Heart Again
If you’ve closed yourself off, how do you begin to open your heart again?
Return to God’s love first. Before you can give love or receive love, you need to know Love Himself.
Release the justifications. The reasons may be valid, but healing can’t come while you’re holding them tighter than you’re holding God.
Choose forgiveness. Forgiveness isn’t saying it was okay; it’s saying I won’t let this keep my heart in chains.
Practice love in small steps. Speak kindness, extend grace, allow vulnerability — even in small doses. Love grows as you practice it.
Final Thought
Love is not something you stumble into. It’s something you open yourself to. And when you open your heart again, you’re not just opening yourself to people, you’re opening yourself back up to God’s reason, God’s design, and God’s healing presence.
Because if it isn’t love by God’s definition, it isn’t love at all.
