Learning to Listen to Your Heart Without Letting it Lead

There was a season in my life when my heart had more to say than God did, or at least that’s how it felt.

Many of my prayers were colored by pain. Decisions in these seasons were filtered through fear and fatigue amongst other variables. As I reflect, each time I tried to move forward in faith, I found myself pulled back by emotions. Some of the emotions I couldn’t name or explain why they were there and others I couldn’t.

Our hearts can be loud, but what it’s speaking may not be leading us into the right direction.

I’ve learned, through maturing in this space, that I wasn’t trying to be rebellious. I was simply not using the power God had given me to feel but not foul.

The Danger of a Directionless Heart

Jeremiah 17:9 says “The heart is deceitful above all things…” Now that doesn’t mean your heart is evil. It means your heart, without the guidance of God, is confused, reactive, vulnerable. It reacts to wounds, to wants, to whispers that sound like truth but aren’t. If we aren’t careful, we end up living in cycles like:

• Making emotional decisions and calling it “discernment.”

• Building walls around ourselves and calling it “wisdom.”

• Running from healing conversations and calling it “boundaries.”

Feelings like to get dressed up like faith. In order to guard against this, we must get in the habit of analyzing the fruit of our outcomes.

What I’m Learning Instead

God isn’t asking us to silence our hearts. He’s asking us to bring them to Him first.

If we look at Jesus’ life while on earth, He didn’t say “don’t feel.” He modeled emotional honesty in the Garden of Gethsemane. He wept, He wrestled, and He surrendered.

Jesus’ example shows us that we can feel and still stay in alignment with God.

Practicing a New Rhythm

There are many things we can do to combat our feelings. The first thing is to accept that they are a part of our human experience. The second is to trust that God understands them and can help us to manage them. The third is to learn tools to aid in self-control. Here’s some to try:

1. Pause before reacting.
   Ask yourself, “Is this coming from my healed heart or my hurting one?” Past pain and trauma has a way of distorting our perspective. When we are healed, we see more through faith lenses. In spaces where healing is needed, it may be helpful to to use counsel, coaching, or speak with your pastor.

2. Pray through the feeling, not just the outcome.
   God is not just the God of your future. He’s the God of your frustration, too. Sometimes we don’t take God at His offer to come to Him with it all, but know that you can.

3. Speak Scripture over the emotion.
   When you feel abandoned, I say “He will never leave me nor forsake me.”
   When you feel rejected, I say “I am chosen, royal, and dearly loved.”
   Find the scripture that supports the opposite of what your feelings are speaking.

4. Let faith interpret the moment—not the moment define your faith.
   Without thought, feelings can cause us to make decisions that move us away from God’s instruction. We want to guard against walking down the road of disobedience.

Feelings are Real

You don’t have to pretend your feelings aren’t real, but you also don’t have to follow them. Instead of controlling you, let them be indicators. Let them show you where the pain is or even places you need to grow in.

This is a process, so be patient with yourself and surrender the space to God.


Want more on this? Watch this week’s faith talk: “A Foul on the Feelings” → Link

Let’s keep growing—emotionally, spiritually, and faithfully.